Consumption Archive: Obama to Sell Burning Man Tickets to Ease Federal Debt

From the archives of Consumptionblog 2011:

Washington, DC (CN) – As part of intense, last minute negotiations with Republicans on raising the national debt ceiling President Obama has offered to sell his and Michelle’s Burning Man tickets.

The President said all profit from the sale of the two tickets will be applied to lowering the federal debt.

It was announced last weekend that BurningMan had sold out for the first time since tickets were introduced at the Burn of 80 AD when it was first held at the Roman Colosseum.  Prices for Burning Man tickets rose on global commodity markets when trading opened Monday.  The value of a single ounce of Burning Man ticket has now risen faster, higher, and stronger than gold.

“The Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner has advised me that under the current economic climate we should be able to haul in about $20,000 a ticket,” said President Obama in a statement in the White House Rose Garden.  He was later seen weeping with Michelle as he repacked a dusty set of fire poi and a pink fuzzy full length jacket.

The offer to sell the ticket was accepted by the Republicans and Democrats in a rarely seen moment of honest bi-partisanship.

“As much as I’d love to see Obama in the great state of Nevada wearing a pink tutu spinning poi, sometimes the welfare of the country comes first”, said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV).  “But just barely.”

“I’m not sure what Burning Man is,” said a confused GOP House Speaker John Boehner.  “But I guess it’s better the QE3.”

Obama had been to Burning Man twice before being elected Commander in Chief.  He also sold his 2009 tickets, but only for a measly $300 on Craigslist.

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